“Kissing”

Remember: Practice proper safety precautions when engaging in face-to-face combat. Precautions such as keeping a fire extinguisher handy, or doing so in a torrential downpour.

CN: Death, Fire, Profanity

“Kissing”

Brummer and Jorf absolutely fucking loved each other. They loved each other so much that, every day at exactly 10:69, they would smash their faces together and get drool all over the place. But no one told them the dark side of this “kissing” thing they did. But oh, would they find out.

This foul “kissing” ritual went on for days, if not weeks, or maybe even months. Fuck if I know. I’m just the narrator. Anyway, one day Jorf accidentally rubbed his face against Brummer’s so much that both their heads caught fire and they died. All that remained of them were two stinky cadavers with ashes where their heads should have been.

So, you heard it here first, kids: Smash not ye faces less ye die in disgraces.

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