Got something especially absurd for you folks today.
The Magnificent Maestro
by Anthony Jutz
“You dare interrupt my symphony?!?!” shouted the Magnificent Maestro from the top of the dumpster he was perched upon.
Jim, the night manager at the 17/11 inconvenience store, was unamused by what was in front of him, again, for the 17th week running.
“My militarized vermin band shall rue upon you this day of which you…rue?” were the words vomited from the mouth of the Magnificent Maestro. Fine dining was not an option this evening.
“Listen, ugh, I’m not calling you the ‘Magnificent Maestro’. Uh, ‘Other Jim’, we’ve had this talk every night for the last like four months. Just because we share the same name, and the same bed, and also another lover also named Jim, doesn’t mean you can just annoy the shit out of me at work.
“Who’s gonna un-domesticate those rats and assorted insects? That takes work, man. Work I need to be doing inside. Scrubbing nacho cheese off the ceiling and such,” monologued 17/11 Night Manager Jim.
But, by that time, ‘Other Jim’ had fallen asleep in a magnificently drunken heap, his snores drowning out the cacophony of the assorted vermin. ‘Third’ Jim’s cries of disgust could be heard from within.
And so, thus ends my tale. I hope you learned something from it. I sure didn’t.