Flash Fiction – “Tools”

Here’s some flash fic I wrote a while back, loosely-inspired by a character from the video game series, Borderlands.

CW: For medical malpractice, murder, general scumbag not-a-doctor-anymore type stuff

By Anthony Jutz

Hey so uhh, I oughtta tell ya something. About your buddy Tony’s surgery. Well uh, the surgery itself went well, but the events afterward are kinda my fault. See, I installed that synthetic liver just fine and he walked out of there no issue. I saw him pounding down shots like nobody’s business. But uhh… yeah.

Here’s the thing. I couldn’t find my blasted tools after the surgery. I coulda sworn I left them on the tray, but I had this strange inkling that Tony took them. So I followed him around for a while, see if the kid would try pawning them off. He went to a few bars, but never to a pawn shop. He did get barred from a transit hub though. I think they couldn’t figure out why he kept beeping at the metal detector.

That’s when it hit me: I left my doggone tools inside a’ Tony. I knew I forgot somethin’. The tricky part was getting them back. I knew he wouldn’t let me cut ‘im open again if I told him, and I really didn’t want to piss off the sheriff again for operatin’ without a license. So I had my buddy Frank, yeah that one, Frank Shithouse, lure him into an alley, where we just roasted ol’ Tony with some fire weapons.

Turns out we got Tony’s twin. Yeah Tommy there just wasn’t havin’ a great day I guess. Anyway, I went back to my shop and well there were my tools, sittin’ on the tray like I thought. I gotta lay off the dang sauce. Anyway, I’m sorry about all the hubbub.

Hope we’re still on talking terms,
Dr. Pebkac

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